Mountain Love Affair

 I have seem to experienced what most of us only hope for before we die, meeting my soulmate. The definition "Soulmate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility."

It was amazing when we first met, we were two souls on the same path ready to collide with an adventure that no one could ever imagine. Our initial greet was brief as we shared our bio's and talked about interests (you know the superficial conversation to break down walls). It was via email so the pressure or nervousness of the face to face meet & greet wasn't as dramatic or prententious. We exchanged emails for a day, then she disappeared for quite some time until I dropped her an email a month later to see what had happened to her (maybe she had found true love?). I was discouraged with my past dating experiences that lacked deep affection, interests, intimacy, spirituality and most importantly compatiability all in one. I was seeking a WOMAN who not neccessarily had her life planned out but someone with some Zest, Spontaneity, Passion, Loyalty and the willingness to Love Unconditionally.  It was a few days before she emailed me back but seeing her email made me forget the fact that I was damned to hell to find a beautiful, strong and loyal woman. We text back-n-forth all day and exchanged some pics. We decided to go for Sushi that night since my resume had shown my expertise in the ever so popular aprodisiac. We met in the heart of downtown Denver, from the moment she cross the street I knew that something special was about to occur. I had no agenda other than to just be myself, show her a good time and hope that we click for a second date. As soon as she walked up I unconsciously kissed her on the forehead and wrapped my left arm around her like I had known her for years. She responded with an arm around my waist as we walked into the Sushi Bar. The conversation that we had that night was probably known as the "conversation of my life" thus far. It was almost like looking directly in a mirror and seeing & talking with yourself but only in the female form (alot more beautiful than myself). We talked for hours, walked the downtown streets of Denver and ended up back at my place talking way into the early hours of the morning.

When she left I didnt think I would hear from her again, I thought she might be a woman who knew all the right things to say, how to manipulate a man who was so vulnerable and desperately desiring to find his true love. It was around 11am that I recieved a phone call from her the same morning she had left. My initial thought was that she was going to tell me I was a nice guy and had a nice time but it wouldnt work out (yes this has happened before). Instead she was eager to see me again and make plans for the evening. We grabbed a quick bite, stayed in and watched movies, again talking late into the wee hours of the morning. I had a defining moment that night that made me realize this is the woman I was about to embark on a long term journey with (she would become my wife and mother of my child). I can never really open up around someone until I know I am truly at ease, at peace within and know my soul is willing to open the door of love & intimacy. Through the night we had many moments; we shared & sang a classic song, we finished eachothers sentences, we laughed at things that others wouldnt catch/seem to be funny, we shared dramatic pasts that literally had us on a collision course for us to meet at this exact time, we defined sex (past & present definitions) and we shared our dreams (which seemed to be similar). When we kissed for the first time, it was on the street corner of 15th & California, honestly my mind went blank and I lost my breath briefly. It was as if my soul had been taken out of my body for a moment to touch hers. I was sold, done, stick a fork in me, I had finally found true love, not only true love but my soul mate!

I had mentioned to her in one of our long talks that I had always wanted to live in the mountains. It was something I couldnt do at the present time because I was in a situation of no car (public transportation to work), just had found a quality job again after leaving the Sushi Bar and I was living in a 450sq ft apartment so I could support my daughter (really the only thing I could afford). The dream seemed so far-fetched at the time but when two people dream the same dream, Ive learned that anything is possible! What started out as just "gathering data" as she would say ended up becoming a fast reality in two worlds quickly colliding. Within a week of looking we had found a place in the mountains and started the paperwork to prepare for our move. I can still remember her face as we left from the peoples home, she wept in joy, in disbelief and out of love (it was probably one of the most amazing moments for me to witness of her). The move in date was November 20th and the time before that was eager anticipation to wake up next to eachother, make sure we had the neccessities for the house, make sure that the kids would be able to get-along as well as accept another person in their family and financially maintain the overall dynamics of a family setting. Its hard to cram everything into a short months time and possibly we were fools to think we could do so, but we were also two fools in love. When we first moved in together it was excitement, joy, happiness, a little stress but overall was worth the struggles and drama prior to moving in. We only had a few days before a dear friend of hers was coming into town so settling in was not quite ideal as thought yet. When her friend arrived it was thanksgiving time, we had 2 of the 3 kids we share and it was literally a full house, but cozy. With a full house the reality was setting in that I had finally found what I spent my whole life hoping and wishing for, my own family. Family was something that because I came from a single mother who worked 3 jobs and an absent no good father, I really had no true sense of family. I found myself watching my mother work crazy hours on little to none sleep just so she could provide. My brother was out of the house by the time I reached 5th grade so my family dynamic was examined through the Cosby Show and friends of mine. What matters most is for the first time my daughter got to see the full family dynamic from her dads point of view (outside her uncle & grandmother) and had a great time (a memorable 2009 holidays).

Over the next few months my love and I learned alot about eachother through living together. She had her pet peeves (leave the toilet seat down or else!), she has to have her famous cup of tea in the morning (earl grey that is), she has a mad addiction to grocery shopping (it can get pricey, yet shes an amazing cook/chef), she brushes her teeth before bed (something I did rarely), not a whole lot of idiot box watching (TV-I love my football & basketball), organization/cleaning is a high priority (never goes more than a day without cleaning something), she isnt a big fan of morning sex (I love it and have to pick my times wisely), Communication is everything (something I have not been good at because of my ability to be too outspoken-fear of being brutally honest) and if you cook you dont do dishes, the other person does. These were all things that I had to learn to live with (that may to some degree have been out of my routine) and compromise for the betterment of my relationship which has been truly worth it. Yet the one thing that seemed to doom/trouble our relationship was/is TRUST! In my past I had been burned & lied to so many times (some my own fault) and so many ways that I felt it was better to not let anyone in to see my true self.  My love was always creeping (not intentionally) into my soul to really see who I was and it angered, irritated, frustrated and consumed me to the point that I would shut down completely towards her and our relationship merely because I wasnt ready out of fear. I would find myself holding back things I wanted/needed to say to her because of the reaction I would assume I would recieve yet I would reach my boiling point with her for imposing on my true identity (soul). What she thought was me playing games was merely me protecting the only thing I truly have control of. Once we give our soul to someone, we are now putting our souls in danger. Even to this day I find myself shutting down towards her but not for the initial look into my soul but for allowing her access to my soul. Have you ever loved someone so much that you put yourself in the background and become consumed and intoxicated by them? What a blessing to have that much love but to feel that vulnerable is at times hard to comprehend, also very dangerous.  

The #4 reason for divorce in America is money! Financial issues is one of the most common reasons for divorce, economic strain or collapse of the family. Every couple has to deal with money at some stage, and when there is not enough to go around, differences in temperament and priorities are brought to a head. Even if there is no debt incurred, disagreements over the allocation of money often be enough to end an already irritated relationship. Financials in my relationship have changed dramatically since we first met and although it has been a stress at times I refuse to believe that it may be a cause for our relationship to end. Some of the most happiest times have been when we were flat broke. When people get into a relationship it is a known fact that in order for it to thrive it has to be give & take. Although at times it may feel that one is giving alot more than the other, the truth of the matter is "what goes around, comes around" (that can be positive if with the current person or negative if its taken into the next relationship). No one gets away with using someone, eventually it will come back to bite you in the ass! I have never been about the material things of the world, nor have I ever thought that money would be a definitive factor in my relationship. Women in general have expensive taste whether it be Jewelry, Food, Clothes, Handbags or Shoes. Men either have to compromise and provide or women provide these addictions for themselves simply, either way the material things of the world should not break up the home. Over the last 2 months I have taken on the responsibility of keeping a roof over our head, food on the table and bills paid. I have watched checks touch my hand and literally a few hours later disappear like a rainbow seen in the midst of the rain. Sometimes in life its more important to make sure that your partner seeks out all their dreams rather than be part of the rat race if feasible. I have struggled in accepting my role at times by showing my frustrations or not giving enough support in certain ideas/aspects, this is something that seperates people. When your partner is at a transitional stage and/or dark/low point, it truly takes a sincere, genuine, understanding and loving person who will walk with them during this point of their life while they seek what is to come. At times during this period she has had to stand still and do nothing (helplessly) but it is at those times as a partner I have tried to motivate, encourage and love (which may have irritated her). Unconditional Love accepts another for who they are no matter the circumstances!

Overall after a short (but what seems to feel like a long time) period of time experiencing what she calls a "secret love affair in the mountains" I have learned that in this life dont expect any thanks, that a partnership takes time to develop, relationships are a major willingness to compromise, independence has to have its perfect balance, loyalty means love, affection speaks louder than words and above all to have love endure we must communicate (communicate effectively). I have so much more to learn about my love, the world, our family as well as adapting to changes to come. Thats the fun of it all-to grow with someone, watch them evolve, share & capture dreams together, drowned eachother in intimacy and most importantly endure & be a witness to your partners life! Being single I always had this made up idea of who I was suppose to be with and I am here to tell you that the physical vision that I had was nothing compared to the overall Woman I have gained in my reality. Beauty is more than just the physical, a true love possesses that unique beauty within. For those who think this may be just another pussy whipped male praising his love, I am here to tell you that what your love will/should possess is far beyond imagination. When you gain the complete package its mentally challenging & rewarding, spiritually bliss, emotionally overwhelming and physically exhausting! Love is effort and soulmates are rare but dont let your fear/doubts allow you to miss out on what you are truly meant to find and have. If you have not found her/him yet, dont settle. Dont go looking for it, you will be surprised to know that they appear when you least expect it (this is not a cliche, its the truth).

Quotes

*Deepest Fear*

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Maryanne Willamson-

Used in Nelson Mandela's Inaugural Speech in 1994.

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The Right Person

“Find a guy/girl who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on her/him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy/girl who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his/her friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he/she cares and how lucky he/she is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's him/her.'”

My Experience with Speed Dating-WOW~

      Speed Dating

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, DATING and religion.

-Scott Adams-

It was last Thursday that I had my first experience outside the usual way of meeting a woman. Usual meaning the bar, grocery store, book store/library, java house and random places that you would never expect to meet a woman. A friend of mine who seems to enjoy the nightlife of Denver urged myself an other co-workers to go to this event in hopes of not only him meeting a girl but also so maybe we might find someone as well. Honestly, I didn’t even plan on going till the day of the event simply because I really wanted to see my friend Alex who is just a funny guy put on a show (was curious to see how he comes off to the ladies, since he doesn’t always seem to take much in life seriously). It was four of us who decided to go to the Irish Snug to see what the whole speed dating event was all about.

We arrived a bit early; I instantly had a bad feeling about the whole thing simply because I was not feeling what I had already seen. None of the ladies stood out and their were more guys than girls. After grabbing a beer with the guys the place seemed to fill up but not really any potential Mrs. P's for me. Although their were none peaking my interest, my buddy Mick was like a kid in the candy store as his eyes danced from one woman to the next in awe. My buddy Alex was really concentrating on his script for questions to ask the ladies and Chad was well.........cool, calm and collected with really no emotion (had his game face on). It was getting close to game time, I was one beer in and felt I probably am going to need another one (or 4 more) before we get this fiesta started (especially to be talking non-stop for 90-120min straight).

The set up was for you to write your name and email address on the welcome clipboard. You then take a half sheet of paper with eight blocks for you to write in your top eight ladies that you found interesting. Everyone had a name tag on with their number on it (for what table you started at or sat at). At the end of the speed dating you turn in your card. If you wrote down the same person who wrote you down, then you would get an email with their information so that you could conversate and take the next step towards dating/hanging out. The women rotated every three minutes as the men stayed put at their table. Overall their was twenty-seven women and twenty-five men.

I was in a great seat to see what was coming next an down the line. I could see the whole room and really what I saw wasn’t all that great really, but then again I'm not the most beautiful flower in the garden. As far as physical attraction I saw all shapes and sizes from petite to bbw (big beautiful woman).

With that being said, only a few stood out:

My first woman was in her mid 30's who had a slender athletic body, dirty blonde hair, bluish-greenish eyes and liked to fidget. Our conversation was longer than three minutes as we started before they announced everyone to start. I found out she is a woman who likes to hike, bike, workout, run (does the snug run every Thursday) and is an accountant. She thought that relationships are very hard because people fake their way through the first few months in order to break down walls. I told her I found that disturbing because you should just come right out and be who you are, if it is not acceptable than they are just not suited for you. I asked her where she is meeting these types of people that you can not be yourself; she spoke about her experience with meeting a guy from Suite 200 (which turned into a 2min soap opera). I am not one to knock the meet a person in a club/lounge/bar but be very PICKY/SELECTIVE! Finally the announcement came to SWITCH.

My next girl who I will never forget was a 5'4 120lbs with beautiful green eyes, athletic, bubbly, genuine and just really no matter what ethnicity or values you grew up with this is the girl you take home to the family. Natalie was everything an a lot more than what I expected out this whole speed dating experience. When she talked to me I couldn’t stop making eye contact because I was hypnotized by those green eyes she possessed. We talked about sports, the outdoors, foods, her job, our dreams (separately) and why we were both single. It was a conversation that I didn’t want to end with a person who had my full attention within 3-4min. She was your typical girl next door, natural beauty, no facade, down to earth, interesting, naturally sexy with amazing sex appeal, funny and genuine. I did the one thing I didn’t expect to do that night and I told her that she was beautiful. Probably the whole thing was a bit premature but I found her to be beautiful more for within rather than the outside (the most interesting woman of the night).

After the bliss of an incredible surprise, I was greeted with my first BBW. (Note: I think their are many beautiful BBW's but this was just not one of them-not even close). She told me to ask her something interesting which when put on the spot by her I felt a little uncomfortable and lost for words. She told me my buddy (Alex) asked her what she was passionate about an all I could say was "so"! I wanted that 3min to end it was seriously the longest 3min of my life. I don’t know what it is but I think I have an invisible sign that says come with your best game if you’re BBW-DAMN! She proceeded to ask me what I found interesting, I simply ignored her question an turned it around on her. She ended the conversation by saying "don't you just know within the first minute and a half that you and the person are not going to have anything in common and you are just counting the seconds till you get to go to the next table?" My response was that I am feeling that way right about now!

I got BBW back to back but this one was at least interesting to speak with as she is basically the manager for this up and coming band here in Denver. I feel bad because the guy that she works for treats her like shit (will not claim her as the manager of the band) but because he can’t even book his own flights depends on her. She really has good insight on relationships as she has not been in very many but has been the counselor for many. She seemed to be a great networking tool but because it was speed dating not the right type of scenario to "plug into her pipeline of people" (wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea).

Lastly, their was the incredibly sexy Maureen who was built like a goddess. She was incredible but definitely the woman who is untameable. You will only get your heartbroken as fast as you can fall in love with Maureen. It was almost scary talking to her because we simply were both talking into a mirror as we talked about relationships, interests, people, observing and goals. Space was very important to Maureen in a relationship-something that people either give too much of or too little. I've noticed when a woman keeps emphasizing space that she ultimately is not interested in a serious relationship, she is looking for something
more casual.

Overall my experience of Speed Dating wasn’t quite like the clip on the movie "Hitch". Their was no sexy ass Eva Mendes speed dating to support her friend and no date doctor stepping in to explain why love is so damn hard. By the time the night was over I had spoken to eighteen women (by number 10 I think they were drunk) and only wrote down 2 that I would be interested in getting to know (really one). Most conversations started with "Hows your night so far? Have you done this before? What do you like to do? What do you do for a living?" Not much you can get out of 3-5min of talking with someone unless you just have an instant attraction that also possesses chemistry to spark the conversation (outside the basic/boring questions). I ended up not turning in my card though simply because I didn't find speed dating to be very well organized and also I think that not very many others turned in cards. I think that I would like to expand on the idea of speed dating running my own event. It’s easier, fun and more interesting than internet dating and much more comfortable than approaching a woman in the grocery store that you dont know is single (although I like risk plus reward). It allows people the opportunity to not hide behind the phone or email (dating sites). You get the initial physical attraction factor out of the way and the next thing is to see if you can click within 3-5min. Is it possible? I think so, but ultimately it all comes down to being on the same page-TIMING!!!!!!!!!

Fu Lu Shou

The Invitation

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...

I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow

if you have been opened by life's betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me

is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the centre of the fire

with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like the company you keep

in the empty moments.

Fu Lu Shou

Shous 5 ways to know a good relationship

Seems that it's hard to distinguish when we are in a solid profound relationship that has potential to reach the pinnacle (marriage/life partner). Most of us become very comfortable with the person because of various reasons and really they are not a true match for happiness. “Familiarity & Voids” are very popular reasons for most couples to continue on in a relationship that has been under fire/headed in the opposite direction.


The “familiar” keeps us with a person an allows us to continue to put up with the obnoxious, irritable and nonsense that we wouldn’t regularly put up with elsewhere. Generally this occurs because one aspect of your partner has a deep thick hook in you (weakness you have for them). Like I spoke about when avoiding certain types of characteristics of the opposite sex, if you are already in a relationship with someone possessing one of those characteristics then it’s probably time to GET OUT!

Easier said than done right? Well you can continue to become more miserable, continue the bickering and enjoy the make-up sex (which I don’t deny is great), yet wake up the next morning in the same situation, the same vicious cycle. The alternative is to suck it up; walk away from what you know is not right for you or them. Be PATIENT, wait on that special someone who is more ideal for the long term.

*Note*: Most people jump into another relationship without taking time to regroup, learn the good/bad of what has just occurred and just be by themselves! It is crucial to identify who you were before and who you have become after a relationship (trust me relationships because of compromise and growth, to a degree changes an individual).

The “void is my biggest pet peeves but also the most popular amongst men and women these days. This is where you need the feeling of someone chasing/desiring you, which also has all the makeup of a relationship, yet you don’t want to commit because they are just not quite what YOU want. If they are not what you want then why continue to waste their time and your own? To fill the void until “THE ONE” comes along or something better fills your void? For those of you who don’t believe in karma I will be the first to tell you what goes around comes around!

Its one thing to have an open relationship, it’s another to try to be a player!

I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t want a great relationship and true love. How do you find that though in a selfish world where everyone is stepping over everyone to get what THEY desire and press on until they ultimately are ready to settle down?

It’s about becoming aware and rethinking what you as an individual sees as a good relationship & as a real partner for your life.

I pose these questions for you to first ask yourself and then ask your mate (if applicable):

1. Are you cherished? How do you treat your mate/lover? How do you desire to be treated?

2. Can/Are you liked? Is their an appreciation? Do you and your friends go out to complain about your mate/lover?

3. Can you Trust them? Can you be trusted? How safe do you feel with the person you are with?

4. Is their Love? What is real love to you? Can you see yourself falling in love?

5. What is sex to you? Is it the definition of a relationship?

My pastor said this past Sunday “to bare the trust of another person, you are putting that persons soul in danger”. Too many people do not understand/miscommunicate their emotions to another person. Timing is very important in developing a relationship for the simple fact if one person is in 100% and the other one isn’t then it can be damaging if the relationship is carried out or sex is the only content (booty calls/friends with benefits). You will be surprised to know how many people are not on the same page!

Truly it can be prevented by communication but seriously we all know that a lot of people out there have problems with communication. Be the one to speak up, get a sense for what is going on in your relationship (whether friends or more)!

5 ways to know that you are in a great relationship:

1. You are Cherished

2. You are Liked

3. Their is Trust

4. Feel Loved

5. Real Sex (meaning not just lust/basis of your relationship)

If you are not yet in a relationship then keep these things in mind when you are with that potential special someone.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

Fu Lu Shou

Shou vs Women-Chapter 2: 12 types of women to avoid......like the Plague

Every single one of us has made mistakes with relationships. We've been conned, duped and dazed by physical attraction. You've made fools of yourselves by kissing the feet of females who treated you like dirt (Don't worry, I feel your pain.). You've wasted countless hours and spent small fortunes chasing after women who lied to you and used you, and turned out to be rotten.

But do we learn from our experiences? No. Every time we think it's going to be different. We think if we just try harder, or do one little thing differently, the result will change.

Well, it's not going to change. If you keep pursuing the same kind of woman, you'll just get your heart broken over and over again.

Keep a watchful eye out for the following list of women, and you'll be one step closer to curing yourself of habitual %&@$!-dating (*note these are extremes and the "Miss" can also be changed to "Mr."!!!!):

1- Miss Feminist

This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his testicles and grow a pair of ovaries(YIKES! Graphic & sounds painful..Ouch!!). She believes that women are angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male "patriarchy" would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can easily identify her by her incessant mantra, "All men think with their %&@$!es." Avoid her at all costs.

2- Miss Take

She's out for your money -- pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her %&@$! is plated with gold and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has no concept of someone else's feelings, her only interest is in getting what she wants. And don't be fooled -- some apparently very "nice" girls are the greediest of them all.

On to Miss Romance, Elusive and Angry...Ooooo

3- Miss Romance

This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince-Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told they are "princesses," and have absolutely no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight, turn into a shrieking nag. Run.

4- Miss Elusive

This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is usually one of the "walking wounded" -- someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away -- then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you, but you'll never get past "friend" status. What you will get is a million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive herself that she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Save yourself some heartache -- don't get involved with her.

5- Miss Angry

Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angry really don't like men. They scorn the male gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man they've ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there's no such thing as a nice guy -- they're all "jerks," "creeps" "playas" and "pigs." Many of them have lots of simmering anger at men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you're into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.

6- Miss Insecure

This woman seems great at the start because she's very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don't take long to surface. Pretty soon she's calling you 10 times a day, asking to see "where the relationship is going," or because she "just wants to hear your voice." She needs constant reassurance that she's attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and the alignment of her clothes. She's clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that you're going to leave her at any moment for "someone better." This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.

7- Miss Bitch

Miss Bitches sulk, are pouters and ball-busters of the female world. They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly, care only about themselves, and aren't concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. Most Miss Bitches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss Bitches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut through the world.

Are you taking notes... 5 more women you have to avoid at all costs

8- Miss Me

A close relative of Miss bitch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving narcissist who was raised as "daddy's little girl," and expects the same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far, far away.

9- Miss Desperate

Whether it's her baby clock ticking or she's the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married -- NOW. She doesn't care who the guy is or what he does -- as long as he's got a Dick she can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!

10- Miss Turncoat

She's a conniving little piece of work who's an expert at conning men. Miss Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you're hooked deep into the relationship (or married) and then the truth comes out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy, mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.

11- Miss Tease

Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she sponges off older men; sometimes she's a ball-buster who enjoys getting men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No matter how she operates, you can't trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.

12- Miss Controlling

She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat -- everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her demands.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

These are some of the worst of them. Obviously, there are some good women out there who share only portions of these negative qualities. A prefect person is imperfect! But it's always best to be on the lookout for the Misses (and Mr.) listed above.

And now that you know better, if you hook up with one of these women, you have only YOURSELF to blame.

Fu Lu Shou

Shou vs Women-Chapter 1: 10 Commandments of Dating

Shou vs Women-Chapter 1: 10 Commandments of Dating

BEHOLD THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF DATING.....
Like ice-cold beers and women in hot pants or short skirts, certain things are always right. This goes for rules too -- think: "never eat yellow snow". These classic rules for dating are set up to make life run smoothly. And even once you've settled down, it's worth going back and reminding yourself of these timeless dating rules. (It is numbered in Roman numerals)..

Number X
Thou shalt not share excessive details about your past
You have a past; she has a past. Bringing up all the fine details of your old dating triumphs and troubles is unnecessary. It'll only lead to jealousy and pointless competition. Don't give her graphic details of your best one-nighter, and don't badmouth the ex. This is one of the most overlooked yet timeless dating rules. Treat your dating history like a CV (Curriculum Vitae or resume)-- a few key details to display your credentials (and show you're not a psycho) with no over-elaboration.

Number IX
Thou shalt not place her on a pedestal
Poets may have written verse after verse about worshiping a woman like a goddess, but doing so in reality always ends in disaster. It might seem romantic to revere your girl like Aphrodite, but it comes across as desperate and overbearing. What she wants is for you to know all of her, including her faults. Of course there's always room for occasional romance and compliments, but make sure to treat her like the real person she is the rest of the time.

Number VIII
Thou shalt not seem too enthusiastic
No one likes a stalker. You may be falling hard for her, but give her room to breathe: no bombarding her with phone calls, no "surprise" visits and no requests for dates every day of the week. This, too, is one of the most important timeless dating rules. Like the old showbiz cliché says: Always leave them wanting more. Try to follow the 3-for-1 Rule: Don't initiate contact more than three times in a row; let her come to you once in a while.

Number VII
Thou shalt not lead her on
Adopting a laissez-faire approach to a relationship is a bad idea. There's little point in pursuing something that just isn't working. Know when it's time to stand up and walk away. You don't have to literally stand up and walk out of the restaurant at your moment of realization, but don't chase dates merely for the sake of dating. Generally, if you aren't sure things are working out, they're probably not.

Number VI
Thou shalt compliment her
Take the time to make her feel good about herself. In today's dating world, with all the rules, systems and mind games, the old-fashioned compliment is often overlooked. If she looks beautiful, tell her. If she's the funniest girl you've ever dated, let her know. Liked that new little trick she pulled in bed? Definitely say something...

Number V
Thou shalt not discuss other women
Never dangle other women in front of her. It might still be the early stages of your relationship and things aren't serious just yet, but before you establish an exclusivity rule with her, the other women you're dating should always remain separate. This is one of those forgotten timeless dating rules. Being respectful entails letting her know if you're dating others, but not going into the gory details. Don't mention that cute girl you met yesterday, and don't check out other women in front of her. Also, in the long-term, don't use other women to stir up jealousy; mentioning your fit new 21-year-old secretary isn't going to inject passion into a declining relationship.

Number IV
Thou shalt not let thyself go
After spending some time with a girl, you'll start to feel comfortable around her... sometimes too comfortable. You won't feel the urge to impress her and let things slide. You should relax around her, but this can go too far. Forgetting about hygiene, indulging her in bathroom humor, wearing ratty, stained shirts, and adding on a few extra pounds should be avoided. She knows you're a real person and, believe me, she knows you have faults, but she doesn't need to be reminded how much of a slob you really can be. Don't act like she's one of your uni housemates -- a timeless dating rule.

Number III
Thou shalt not rush things
Don't be the kind of boy who won't kiss on the first date, but don't rush things either. Relationships are organic and develop at their own pace. Working on a timetable, like planning on moving in together after two years, getting engaged after three, and getting married after four just won't turn out well. Wait until things feel right, rather than doing it all when it's expected. And under no circumstances should you tell her you love her in the first month (perhaps one of the most important timeless dating rules).

Number II
Thou shalt not frequent thy exes
Forget the myth that after breaking up, you and an ex can remain best friends and help each other through the struggles of the next relationship. Your focus should be on the girl you're with in the here and now. By all means, be amiable with your exes: exchange catch-up e-mails every few months and say hello when you bump into them. But they should never linger around your new relationship like the smell of a decaying corpse.

Number I
Thou shalt not lose faithIn the dating game, these facts are certain: Not every pickup attempt will land a date, not every date will be perfect, and every relationship, except The One, will end in tears. Taking these guarantees on the chin is perhaps the cardinal rule of dating. Don't dwell on the bad times -- learn from them, and get yourself ready to approach the next girl.